Yet another sneak peek…

As we all await the release of Suburban Vampire Ragnarok with baited (or unbaited, as the case may be) breath, I have here another sneak peek, just to whet your appetite. If you like this, there’s more where that came from, just remember to keep your eye on this website for more information! To set this scene from the upcoming sequel to Suburban Vampire, Dawn (the young choirgirl and object of Scott’s affections), Elizabeth (the vampire enforcer), and Jeremiah (Scott’s vampire mentor) are headed down Highway 101 along the Oregon Coast to rescue our hero, Scott, who has done something really stupid involving werewolves…

“Are you sure this is legal?” Dawn asked from the backseat of the Hummer as it tore down the highway, red and blue deck lights flashing and sirens wailing. “I mean, aren’t these lights and sirens only legal for the police? And last I checked, we weren’t police.”

“Strictly speaking,” Elizabeth answered, “no, it’s not legal.”

Dawn fell back into her seat, her mouth gaping. “So, we’re using illegal emergency lights, going at an illegal rate of speed. That’s going to end well.”

“It’s only illegal if you get caught. Besides, we have to bail your boyfriend out of the massive pile of shit he put himself in. Isn’t that kind of urgent?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Ladies, please!” Jeremiah, sitting in the passenger’s seat, pled. “Let us not argue! As if your last argument wasn’t annoying enough!”

“Well,” Elizabeth said, “little girl should know better than to ask me to play that religious crap music she likes.”

“It’s not crap!” Dawn protested. “It’s contemporary Christian!”

“Crap!”

“Well, it’s better than that death metal or whatever vampires like!”

“‘Death metal’? You think vampires like ‘death metal’?”

“Well, I don’t know! Jeremiah, what kind of music do you like?”

“I am partial to Tuvan throat-singing and Gregorian chant.”

“Gregorian chant?” Elizabeth laughed. “That’s just religious crap in Latin!”

“Whatever,” Dawn spat. “What kind of music do you like, Elizabeth?”

“None of your business!”

“Elizabeth,” Jeremiah said, “Dawn asked you a question. What kinds of music do you like?”

“Okay, fine. I like… light jazz. I listen to a lot of Kenny G, John Tesh, and I really like Barry Manilow. There! Happy?”

“And you accuse us of listening to crap? ‘Light jazz’? Those artists you mention are not jazz. Miles Davis is jazz. John Coltrane is jazz. Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Louis Armstrong are jazz. What you listen to is not jazz.”

“And because you’re older than dirt, that means you know music?”

“I know it better than you, obviously!”

“Guys!” Dawn shouted. “Enough! Look, we’re all pretty wound up here! We should be thinking about how we’re going to get Scott out of this mess!”

“Dawn is right,” Jeremiah said. “We need to put together a tactical plan here. Now, what do you suggest, Elizabeth?”

“Simple: I see a wolf, I kill it. There! Simple, right?”

“That’s a little too simple,” Dawn said.

“No one asked you!” Elizabeth spat. Jeremiah looked up at the ceiling. This is going to be a long drive, he thought.